Waiting

time and tides wait for no man...

I waited, waited and waited
Not because I want to wait but I had put in so much effort, money, heart and soul only to be defeated again, again & again
Many said 'you are smart' but smartness alone do not bear positive results
Hardworkingness is my denominator

This is a real world; until & unless, I make a/any breakthrough, I am, but, a clouded star

Everytime I rush madly into possibilities
I ride the waves only to sail into the eye of the storm
I end up wasting time, money & gain frustration
Today, I am almost a spent force; licking my wound, nursing my bruise ego & struggling to uphold and raise my battered spirit

There is time to rejoice and, at this very moment, retreating & hibernating is my preferred choice

Why? Why didn't I succeed with big victories but gain only small 'skirmishes'? Guess, this is survival
The little gains are to keep me alive
Patient, cool, calm, calculating ...then pounce when opportunity presents
Sounded great on paper but this waiting is torturing

Many say it's darkest before brightness returns

I have no lack of opportunities nor chances
Just that it's getting costlier over time; spending and drawing on reserves
As my savings thin out, pressures built up
There is an immediate need to break the drought - the drought of successes

If tomorrow comes & the drought ameliorates, my star shall shines again like the Polaris 

I am still waiting...