I Need A Reminder

how patient can a person be...

The priests, the masters and many others preached patience
Many say 'whatever is yours, shall be yours'
We are reminded to work hard, think through the plot and we will succeed
We are supposed to be helpful, sacrifice short term pains for long term gains
There is a belief to live selflessly, care and share with the less fortunate

But...

Are you really patient or 'resigned to fate' when everything you try and seek are simply illusive
Or, maybe, these are not the things that you are pursuing and want
Patience or 'good to have but it's fine if it comes...otherwise, it;s fine too'
If I 'borrow' to help another or lend my name to do so and the borrower fails, I am on the chopping board; does the borrower really cares about me that I am in 'deep shit' because of being helpful
How long can I last to carry this burden? The burden of 'being helpful'

I am hopelessly weak with the weight on my shoulder
The weight of 'helping others'; the caregiver often dies before the patients
What a perfect analogy ~ that reality is cruel
I was, and is, a struggling 'incurable positives' quite unlike the past
2014 was indeed my Waterloo

I am looking to burrow into the ground to hibernate; to hide away from reality

For once, I am a defeated Soul
I need more than a reminder to return
A broken Soul is more than a broken man
I have lost faith on the AlMighty; sad but real

As at now, I am a rudderless boat riding into the 'eye of the storm'
For once again, I may not make it

I guess, GOD is late...terribly late this time

I also humbly realise and accept that I am just as human as anyone