Monday, January 12, 2015

I Need A Reminder

how patient can a person be...

The priests, the masters and many others preached patience
Many say 'whatever is yours, shall be yours'
We are reminded to work hard, think through the plot and we will succeed
We are supposed to be helpful, sacrifice short term pains for long term gains
There is a belief to live selflessly, care and share with the less fortunate

But...

Are you really patient or 'resigned to fate' when everything you try and seek are simply illusive
Or, maybe, these are not the things that you are pursuing and want
Patience or 'good to have but it's fine if it comes...otherwise, it;s fine too'
If I 'borrow' to help another or lend my name to do so and the borrower fails, I am on the chopping board; does the borrower really cares about me that I am in 'deep shit' because of being helpful
How long can I last to carry this burden? The burden of 'being helpful'

I am hopelessly weak with the weight on my shoulder
The weight of 'helping others'; the caregiver often dies before the patients
What a perfect analogy ~ that reality is cruel
I was, and is, a struggling 'incurable positives' quite unlike the past
2014 was indeed my Waterloo

I am looking to burrow into the ground to hibernate; to hide away from reality

For once, I am a defeated Soul
I need more than a reminder to return
A broken Soul is more than a broken man
I have lost faith on the AlMighty; sad but real

As at now, I am a rudderless boat riding into the 'eye of the storm'
For once again, I may not make it

I guess, GOD is late...terribly late this time

I also humbly realise and accept that I am just as human as anyone

Monday, January 5, 2015

2015 ~ A Quiet Opening

the draft of winds blew lazily over the horizon ...


This is the slowest opening of any years I have known to date; at least, for me
There was no hopeful tie-ups or businesses line up
Just ready to drift...
Sending the old, un-done and uncompleted businesses forward
The future is uncertain

If wealth is an indicator of happiness, I should easily score 6.5/10
Not rich, neither very poor; just enough to drift through like the draft of wind

I am a fairly contented person, cheering and motivating others
Helping the less fortunate and speaking out against repression and bullying
But, with this, I am 'flooded' with the many 'take for granted' people
Yes, I do it voluntarily and without seeking any returns
Guess, sometimes...today maybe the some time, my chips & biorhythm are low

I am as frail and weak as anyone
Maybe, internally; brittle to the point of cracking

Some days are drag but most are normal
Unfortunately, I discover I have new normal
The new normal is to be as cool, calm and lifeless (not reacting until surer)
But, after many, many years as a proactive person, this becomes a tall challenge
It's like the Great Lord is commanding me to slow down...

I don't fly like an eagle because I have been surrounded by ostriches
Overtime, I blend into their environment but I can't run as fast

The imposition of almost an almost perfect halt by the Higher One is killing
I have been on the ready everyday, especially getting things done almost immediately
No 'Ifs', no 'Buts'
Well, guess, this is a reminder that we are all running towards the end of life
Relax...relax; reflect and recharge ~ it's a journey

I will fly & fly high soon & soar into victory
The quiet opening of 2015 applies to ALL, not just me

God willing, I will succeed